Not Just Physical
TRIGGER WARNING: THIS POST CONTAINS INFORMATION ABOUT THE TOPIC OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE.
DVA (Domestic Violence Awareness) Month is finally here. As Alpha Chi Omega’s, we focus our attention on our philanthropy to support victims of domestic violence and to promote healthy relationships throughout the world.
There is often a misconception about Domestic Violence signs. It’s not always something physical. It’s not always bruises and scars that you can see. Sometimes the deep cuts are within someone. There are so many different kinds of abusive behaviors within a relationship, so here is a list of signs to understand the true extent of an abusive relationship.
Signs of Physical Abuse
Hitting, punching, kicking, shoving, choking or slapping them
Using weapons to inflict harm or threatening
Controlling what they eat or when they sleep
Forcing them to do work against their will
Forcing them to use drugs or alcohol
Stopping them from seeking medical treatment or calling the police
Signs of Emotional Abuse
Attacking their sense of self-worth
Insulting them, calling them names, criticizing them, humiliating them
Acting jealous or possessive, accusing them of being with other partners
Withholding affection or acknowledgment to punish them
Cheating on them intentionally
Lying to them
Signs of Psychological Abuse
Threatening to hurt them, their loved ones, their pets, their children, or their possessions
Controlling the time they spend with others or monitoring where they go
Controlling what they wear, often with the accusation that they attract too much attention
Damaging or stealing their belongings
Blaming them for the abuse, saying that they deserve what happens or that they instigated the problem
Gaslighting, i.e. saying things to make them question their perception of reality, such as “That never happened, you never remember correctly,” or “Don’t get angry over such little things, you’re too sensitive.”
Signs of Sexual Abuse & Coercion
Forcing or manipulating them to perform sexual acts
Demanding sex when their not willing or able
Harming them during sex by choking, holding or striking them
Forcing them to watch pornography
Insulting them in sexual ways
Signs of Reproductive Coercion
Refusing to use a condom or other method of birth control
Refusing to let them use birth control medication or devices
Sabotaging birth control efforts such as poking holes in condoms, swapping out birth control pills, not pulling out, forcibly removing an IUD, etc.
Forcing them to become pregnant
Forcing them to have an abortion, or preventing you from getting one, regardless of your wishes
Signs of Financial Abuse
Preventing them from having access to bank accounts with their money
Only permitting them to spend from an allowance
Monitoring how they spend money and deciding what can or cannot buy
Stealing their money or using their savings without their permission
Refusing to contribute to shared expenses such as rent, food, childcare, etc.
Signs of Digital Abuse
Sending them insulting or threatening messages over text, email or social media
Using social media sites like Facebook to track what they are doing and where they are
Demanding they send sexually explicit photos or videos of themselves, or sending them their own
Looking through their phone and checks their call history, texts, pictures, etc.
Ordering them to not turn off their phone or punishing them when you don’t answer
If you feel like you might be in a domestic violence situation or know of someone who is, never be afraid to reach out to a sister. An Alpha Chi will always be on your side.
All information is taken from:
LiveYourDream.org. “42 Domestic Violence Warning Signs.” Your Dream Blog, 5 July 2018, yourdream.liveyourdream.org/2016/10/42-domestic-violence-warning-signs/.